Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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