There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
