We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
