yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
