So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My balls are so social today.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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