I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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