just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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