What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
