I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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