What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's always time for handjobs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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