Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
