Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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