Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
