Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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