I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
