So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This house was built for laser tag.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
