I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
