I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
