I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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