the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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