Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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