Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
