I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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