Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize