After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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