oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
