ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
