you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
