K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
