a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
