drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
