You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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