JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
