Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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