i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
