So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize