It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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