Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
