You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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