Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
