I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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