Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
