Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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