Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am puke
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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