he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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