and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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