i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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