i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
