i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
