We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found the puke drawer
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
