I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
