I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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