school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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