Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
