I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize