If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize