I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
