I need help removing her.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
