Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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