My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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