You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
