Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
