her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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