i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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