listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
