just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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