All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
