Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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