Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
